Saturday, December 19, 2009

Friday I'm In Love: Retraction

A few weeks ago, I elected Jason Segel as my Friday I’m In Love boy toy. However, due to recent allegations of Jason hooking up with Lindsay Lohan I must temporarily retract my FIIL post.

You might be questioning this retraction because another FIIL member is Hugh Grant – someone with a known affair with a prostitute. Let me justify my retraction:

Hired “help,” though as disgusting as it is, is more excusable than a one night stand with Lindsay Lohan. I know, and Hugh knows, that when you hire someone to help you out in that area it is

Red Flag No. 1: Lindsay has had an extremely public and volatile relationship with her ex Samantha Ronson.

Red Flag No. 2: Lindsay Lohan, though never confirmed, is a crack head. Girlfriend has had several snapshots taken of her with a white nose.

Red Flag No. 3: Her face looks like it’s already had some botox and she is only 23. Weird.

Red Flag No. 4: It’s really sad that she was a better actress at the tender age of 12 in The Parent Trap, not only was she a better actress, but she probably had a more professional work ethic. Please sit down and compare The Parent Trap to I Know Who Killed Me  or Labor Pains. Hell LP was so bad it bypassed theaters and went straight to ABCFamily.

It’s just not a good idea, Jason. I know that we’ve never met, but I’d like to think you’re a smart guy. I don’t know, maybe you have some sort of Prince Charming complex where you like to save girls, but seriously, she is past that. You can save me any day.

[Via http://plaiddress.wordpress.com]

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