LINDSAY: Hey bitches. What? You almost didn’t recognize me? Yeah, I washed my hair and put on normal people clothes today. Suck it, haters.
LINDSAY: So I decided to channel my inner Rachel Zoe. Long coat, voluminous hair, one color combo. Yeah, I know my hair is finally sexy again. What are you looking at?
LINDSAY: Do you like how my coat looks like I skinned a bat and stitched together my own less-than-form-fitting garment? It weighs a ton when it rains.
LINDSAY: Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to climb into this vehicle and look fake passed out for some bad press. Fine, ok, just one sexy shot before I get in. And no, my boots aren’t supposed to look like open fish mouths eating my ankles.
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